Saturday, July 01, 2006

Life after Commission Life after commission, dunno how do I describe also, there's good and bad to the life of a Platoon Commander (PC). Good things are like U're the leader, the father, the commander of 30 men. Whatever u do reflects on ya men and vice versa too. My men are of ITE, 'N' Levels and JC education level, but they are damn fun to be with la, wear clothes and never wear the same, all tattoo craze.

But the bad part of being a PC is that alot of shit comes to u, be it admin or training. Somemore we are all new PCs, all the arrows are being shot on us. Worst thing is weekends burnt too cuz of NDP stuff. Gimme a few more weeks to explore the platoon first before commenting further.

Anyway booked out yesterday and went Zouk with Joe, Hanwei, Jiawei. Been some time since I last went there. Zen, Weixiang, Ah Tiong, Justin, Jun An(one of my men) were there too. Furthermore saw my first gf there too. But there's something bad that happened yesterday, a fight broke out between my ex and an Indian Guy, take note its a fucking guy. That guy punched her in the face, I wont say why cuz the moment a guy lay his hands on the girl, its his fucking wrong. I was damn angry, cuz at that time I was on my way into Phuture to look for her and the moment I saw her she was on the ground, the prob is I'm attending to her, if she has someone to attend to her at that fucking time, I'll break the guy's head, I swear and based on my character, thats not enough.

In the end, police came and statements etc were made, just hope that guy gets charged and send into an 18 mths jail whereby everyday he will not get whacked but his ass gets fucked by guys everyday, I'm damn damn pissed. I mean how can a guy lay his fucking dirty black indian hands on a girl? I know I'm kinda racist here but sorry, that guy spoiled the mood of everyone, a fight almost broke out last night, everybody was on the phone calling peeps down, I had like 10 plus guys with me the moment the police came, just made some statements, fucked that indian guy, no prata for me for one month man!

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SaM; DaIrY oFHiMselF______________________
Samuel || 5:09 PM

Sunday, June 18, 2006

2LT Samuel Ong So long since I last blog right? Anyway firstly, my rank changed from a CADET to 2LT. Got commissioned on the 10th june. Seriously I feel happy but I felt more of sadness than happiness, cuz its the time when I gotta stand up alone, making decisions for my men, my specs, etc.. The decision of what to do, how to do, why must we do, where to do all lies in my hand. Another point is I'm going to get seperated from my friends again, imagine doing all the shit together for 6 long months and now we got different routes to take? All the toughness, the shit, the sleepless nights, the time we spent in Taiwan will always be with me.

Recently I've been drinking alot, almost every weekend, be it fri or sat, u can find me drunk in my house, my lift lobby at around 4 plus in the morning? Sounds scary right? But its normal, I cant get to bed (I mean my bed in my own house, not the camp one) without drinking till I get drunk. Furthermore the lift lobby of my HDB block feels quite nice to be slept on, haha! I can't find a perfect reason to why I must drink till that way, but maybe its because of loneliness and I know it myself, Samuel Ong cannot be alone, he cannot feel abit of loneliness. No doubt he has alot of friends but most of them are attached. Its the age to get crazy, to get a bf/gf but maybe he's the kind of guy that will go all out for his friends. I personally feel that I'll wait for all my close friends to get attach first before finding a gf for myself cuz I know how it feels to get lonely all the while.

Well, anyway back to camp lifestyle. After getting my rank, I'm posted back to the same camp, Sungei Gedong Armour camp at Lim Chu Kang, but this time round is 42 SAR and know what? I gotta do NDP stuff, think mostly is just carpark stuff. My saturdays are burnt!!! But who cares? I got my rank already, I'm gonna watch World Cup everynight, hahahaha!!!

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Samuel || 3:17 PM

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Drunk!!!! I'm Drunk!!!! Don't think I got so drunk ever before. But before I start my journey on what happened last night, lets start with my life in Safti for the first of my last 3 weeks of OCS.

Basically all was well for last Sun till Wed, got sore eye on wed night and I went to see the MO (Medical Officer) the next morning. Still thought that the stupid MO will gimme an Attend C for at least 2 days but who knows he kept me in the sick bay (female one somemore cuz he wanna isolate me) for 3 fucking days. Then after 2 days of staying, I got damn bloody bored that I went to request for a discharge on fri night cuz I got a parade rehearsal on sat morning. But guess what the MO said, he said "I cant release u, u're not well yet. Why not stay one more night then the duty MO for tmr (in this case is sat) will release u and give u Attend C.

Fuck! What's the diff in giving me Attend C on fri night and Sat morning? Is he a gay? Does he need to keep me for so many days? In the end, the MO for sat just report for duty and straight away gave me Attend C status, book out on sat morning 11am. Sucks!!

Okay, anyway back to yesterday. Was out in town shopping for my Comms Ball Dinner Wear, didnt manage to see any nice suit out there though. So in the end went to COCOLATTE (my first time there) with a big group of friends, Armour, BMT, Sec, Outside friends. I got damn bloody drunk that I was on all fours crawling and puking outside COCO around 1 plus. Furthermore I drank and cried, I deleted all of Sijia's messages in my phone, 152 of them and thought I can put her down, but deep inside I cant. Think I drank bout 4 to 5 pints of Hoegarden, plus abit of mixings here and there. After that Igni sent me home and I continued puking in the cab.

U think it end here? Nah, u're wrong. Igni didnt send me up cuz I said I can manage but I found out that I slept on the 10th floor lift lobby of my BLK and I woke up at 7am inside my toilet this morning. Unexplainable right? I cant remember what happened too, never been so drunk before... sigh~~~!!!

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Samuel || 3:15 PM

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Same Old Problem Its been a very long time since I last blog.. Anyway I doubt that anybody will read it, this is just a place whereby I can relieve all my stress, anger, happiness (which I think there's none of it).

Alright, firstly I wanna say "I've finally completed my Armour Officership training in Sungei Gedong camp. Just received my cert last week and on top of it wrote 2Lt Ong WeiQuan Samuel, (2Lt refers to 2nd Lieutenant). The feeling was obviously damn good cuz I felt that I really achieve something that will do my family and close friends proud. So now I'mn currently back in Safti for 3 weeks of training on parades before I formally get commission on the 10th of June. 3 more weeks to officership, thats all.

Next, although its a very happy thing that I'll be getting my officership soon but I dunno why. Maybe I'm a very Emo guy, I tends to think alot and I mean real lot. Went to Billy's 21st birthday last night at Pasir Ris before moving off with Igni and Joe to Holland V and met up with Karen for a drink. On the outside I look prefectly fine, we left at around 2 and the 2 guys went home whereby I went over to Karen's house and continued drinking. Talked real lot, She talked bout Cal and stuff while I talk bout how a little guy went after a girl for a yr and it came to no avail yet. Left her house at around 4.

What we talked bout was purely relationships, why must god create a guy and a girl in the first place? And furthermore why must there be feelings in the world? And guys, where can u find a guy who is so balless that he don't even dare to date a girl that he likes out for a movie or dinner? I asked Sijia before to be my date for my OCS social night, she's not free. Asked her for a dinner, she had dinner with her family. Now I just ask her to be my date again for my Commissioning Ball and she said she cant confirm cuz her exams are in june. Can someone just tell me how to go after her? Karen adviced me to let go, but its not that easy, she said that I'm not useless at all, just see the amount of girls I had in clubs are enough. but to me, what happens in the club stays in the club. Guys may fool around but at the end of the day he'll come back to u. Cuz guys are born to be the playful one between the 2 sexes.

All my friends started to have gf one by one, including my army bros and budds. My mum kept on asking me whether I have any gf too. Everytime when I book out, my mum will ask "Going out with who?" I'll reply "Orh, Igni, Joe and my army budds loh", then she'll say back "Are u a gay? Why do u always go out with them? Thought guys and girls at your age is the dating age?" Then what do u expect me to reply? I got no idea, totally clueless...

Sometimes in camp I'll hear stuff from my budds that they endure thru all the shit trainings because of the support from their gf. I know supports from close friends and family members are enough but I do get lonely. I'm not despo, I just felt that I don't used to be the SAMUEL that peeps once knew. My character changed alot, my perspective in life, etc, totally changed. Karen told me last night, "Bro, I think u matured alot. Your thinking scared me, your that kinda guy that girls will wanna marry." What a joke.. I'm bored, tired, really very tired, maybe I should just let go, I shouldnt carry on.. I should open up my choices but seriously its hard...

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Samuel || 4:59 PM

Saturday, April 15, 2006

I'm such a Bastard!! I just realised how bastard am I, to think that I still thought I'm alright, kept on talking bout how a guy should behave when I myself sucked at it. I just realised that I left my bro Igni behind everytime I go clubbing. He's the best bro, he followed me to clubbing everytime although I brought my friends along. And everytime its mne having girls around but he dances alone and he doesnt complain, I'm sorry bro..

Besides that I realised that I made quite a number of girls down, I treated girls that I knew in club like nothing, we can dance, we can kissed and after that I shoo them off home without even saying sorry to them. I didnt know that until my mum told me that one of my cousin is getting a divorced because her husband is having an affair out there. My cousin is a hot babe, trust me, she's young and that "husband" of her is definitely blind cuz he's a bastard. One thing I'm better is that I DONT 2 TIME girls! But to compare, I felt that I'm more of a bastard than him cuz the number of girls that I disappointed were like dozens.

Back to my cousin, her daughter is only 5 or 6 this yr, a very cute little girl but she's intelligent. She wrote a card to her mummy saying "Mummy, I love you alot. I know you are very sad but he's my daddy, I cant scold him bad words but I tell you, I hate him and I'll hate him forever." See, even kids like 5 or 6 yrs old know what the hell ya doing, you're like 30 plus and yet u still sucked at every little thing u do.

Enough of that, I'm boiling, even though I know that I dont have the right to be angry cuz I'm a bastard myself. Was at MoMo last night, Karen's colleague Renay intro her sis to me, its like matchmaking and it kinda scared me. But coincidentally her sis, Rina was there at MOMO last night too. Danced with her, and after that that's when I realised how bastard am I cuz I left Igni alone. Anyway I already made up my mind, I'm gonna change, I'm gonna quit smoking after I commission, I'm not gonna club that much too. I just wanna lead a normal life now, be an normal average guy who will just go town for movie, food, and leisure, no more knowing of girls in club.

Seriously speaking I cant forgive myself too. Its not just once or twice but I think its the entire clubbing life of mine since poly yr 3 that I'm a bastard. Thats like 2 yrS? I've had enough, seriously, I'm tired, friends said that I needed a gf to change me but does the girls that I liked gave me a chance? Not even one single chance, then tell me how do I get a girl that I like? Auction me in Ebay like some cheapo stuff? If this goes on, I'll turn into a player, a clubber, a fucking bastard who doesnt care bout others' feelings.

I just wanna post this entry here to sincerely apologise to the ppl that I let down, Diane, Rina, Igni, Mike, Joe, there's too many. There's still one more, Sijia, although she doesnt know that I like her, but I continued smoking which I told her I already stop, I did tried but its too hard for me during training. I felt drifted apart from her after entering army. Yesterday was the day that I know her for a yr, and for this whole yr I never dated her, not that I didnt try but its either she's busy or I cant make it. We used to talk on phones every night or every now and then, but for the whole week I called her, she didnt ans. I felt useless, I doesnt have much friends, I'm down, seriously...

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Samuel || 7:34 PM

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Back from Taiwan ROC Well, back from my Taiwan ROC exercise. Its tough anyway, slept just 2 to 3 hours daily for the 18 days of hell training. The weather there is damn freaking cold anyway, and u practically smoke for 24hrs daily as there's smoke everywhere when u talk. But but but, the R&R there is great, spent the whole of my 550 bucks that I changed. Bought nothing much too, a Levis jeans, a puma shoe and afew tee-shirts, that settled my new yr clothing for yr 2007. Hahaha!

Other than that the food there is fabulous, especially the sausages, the "Xiang Ji Pa" (chicken chop) and also the "Mua Ji".. Hahaha! And besides that its drinking for the guys at night in the hotel rooms, playing dices, cards, getting drunk and funny. Life as a civilian is great, if not for the army restrictions I'll sure go clubbing at night cuz the girls there are damn pretty, natural beauty without makeup.

Ok, now back to Singapore, the weather sucks, so damn bloody hot. Can't even drink those hot chocolates that I used to have in Taiwan. Back to Sing on Fri night or rather Sat morning at 0130am. Went back home to pack all my stuff and washing up before going out on Sat for a dinner with Joe and Igni. Met up with Karen too, she's better now after things that happen between Cal and her. After that Joe, Igni and Me met up with Ah Hoe, Andy and gang at a pub at Boat Quay named "Zen" before going down to Mos.

So now left Joe, Igni and Me plus we met up with Amber and Audrey before heading down to MOS, Kinda forgotten how to dance and I suck at it now. Saw quite a number of friends there, Boxiong, Jalen, HweeLing's good friend which I forgot his name, Serena (my gf) Haha, and one of my BMT friend which I forgot his name too.The night was good, fun, drinking as usual. After that went back home and slept all the way from 6 till 1500hrs. Haha! Been long since I last slept for such long hours. Now comes the sickening part, gonna return to camp at 2200hrs later. Sucks!

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Samuel || 7:08 PM

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Money problems Life's been pretty much he same for me the past few weeks. Stayed in camp from mon till fri and on book outs was just some clubbing sessions with friends at Liquid Room, Zouk, MOS or DXO.

Anyway training for the past 2 weeks was rather xiong or would I say its fucking xiong. I managed to sleep just like 10 hours per week so that makes up about 20 hours for the 2 hell weeks training at Armour. The problem why we slept so little is because of Outfields, you not only have to look after your weapons and yourself but also the equipments and vehicles we brought outfield.

About private life, nothing much to blog about also. Its still the same old me. But anyway I'll be going Taiwan for training (ROC) at hukou soon, will be flying off this coming fri(17/03/06) night till either 6th r 7th of April. Oh ya, and the most seriously prob I have now is cash, I dun have the money to spend in Taiwan!! HOW!!!!!

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SaM; DaIrY oFHiMselF______________________
Samuel || 6:09 PM